Stereotypical American

I finally had the guts to ask someone what the stereotypical American is. It was my Canadian roommate Kendra, and I thank her for being willing to tell me the truth of what that stereotype is, and I promise she is a nice person. Her response was hard to hear but not surprising to me:

self-centered
arrogant
stupid
fat
war-loving mongrels

Being the only American in the room is not something you want to be in any other country but America.

The truth is, I don't know how to be American. I want to do well at it. I want people to stop and say, "Well, there was that American once who I really liked." I throw a lot of Midwestern charm into it, I try my best. But at the end of the day, I think I, too, will always be so "American." And what is so bad about that?

Over here, it is OK to say "I hate Americans." No one will stone you. Not even the Americans. People don't feel bad stereotyping them; it's not taboo the way it is to stereotype other cultures. (Does that seem wrong? But then again, I am used to America's p.c. culture, which isn't the case over here.) Sure, I hope they don't really hate Americans, but nonetheless, it doesn't shock me to hear. A lot of times when I am making friends with someone who isn't American, such as my new roommate, I feel the need to make a joke about how I also don't like America.

But the joke is getting old.

Sure, I do criticize the country openly and honestly a lot, but I love criticizing it so much because I love it so much. The mishandling of the war in the Iraq really eats away at me. The fact that health care is so messed up and that my homeland eats the worlds energy eats at me too. The fact that people are starving and one of last election's biggest issues was about defining marriage gets to me as well.

But it irritates a lot of people. A lot of Americans. We care about this stuff; we are good people. And at the end of the day, I am so proud to be from a country where I have been able to voice my disgust with it without getting put through a paper shredder. And a part of me is sick of the American hatred and generalizations and can't help but sense that people see us like the head cheerleader who they hate and envy all at once.

My friend Joe points out it's not fair for many countries to criticize us given some of their own track records. After all, Europeans have been fighting all kinds of ridiculous wars for thousands of years. I won't let my country be deduced to a scapegoat for all the world's problems. Someone told me today that Sept. 11 was a conspiracy caused by Bush. That's unfair. We might talk loud and eat too much McDonald's, but we don't crash planes into our own buildings. And I can't help but get angry at the American haters who have never met one. Kind of like the Muslim haters in America. So now I hate all those haters... I HATE this.

And yeah, Americans irritate me too. Like packs of Texas girls on the train from the airport flaunting there cultural ignorance. Ignorance: I am ashamed of the ignorance the most. I bristle because I know what everyone is thinking and also because I am annoyed that they are talking loudly on public transportation and that Daddy gave them the money to travel so young. I want to cover them up and hide them before anyone else sees them. They can irritate me, America can irritate me, but having them irritate the people outside the land of the free? I can't have that.

Maybe being an American in another country is a good learning experience. Surely it's nothing like how my Irish ancestors must've felt. Or what black Americans went through. Or how Muslim Americans felt after Sept. 11. And what was that? Probably similar to how I feel:

Sad. Introspective. Defensive. Guilty. Alone. Confused. Angry. Self-loathing. Hateful. Useless. Annoyed. Uncomfortable. Self-pitying. Offended. Determined.